Characters
Here are some of the characters you can expect to see on this show.
Gary Simmonds:
Gary Simmonds is neurotic, cynical and pedantic. A failed musician and frequent pessimist who enjoys watching the news, listening to jazz and cooking up exotic dishes. But most of all he enjoys his wall-maps, which cover an extensive part of his room. Gary also has a degree in accounting, however this has rarely brought him happiness. He frequently frets over what he perceives as Jeff’s lack of intellectual vigour, aerodynamics, or indeed respectability. Gary’s entire existence in the context of what in his opinion is a disorganized world, appears to vex him. His last name is rarely pronounced correctly, a sore point for Gary in his upward struggle with identity. Gary also reads the dictionary every night, in order to increase his knowledge.
Jeff Lane:
Jeff Lane is a bohemian from Brunswick, now living with his close friend Gary, in Thornbury. He is self-dubbed ‘Connoisseur of the Hats’, a naive free spirit who enjoys most things about life. Jeff views Gary as an irked and pushy individual who needs to relax more. He believes Gary should grow an afro or wear a hat, an argument vehemently refuted by Gary on the basis of his identity as someone who likes to dress, behave and look ordinary. Jeff dreams of one day writing a spectacular bohemian production, however Gary sees this as a stupid idea, mostly because Jeff is illiterate. Most of Jeff’s basic knowledge comes from TV and films. His heroes are John Simm, Christopher Eccleston and Carlos the Windy Shrimp.
Mr. Freddie:
Mr. Freddie is a small ferret and frequent friend of Jeff, he is also a part of the Northcote Hat Community. He has a thick Glaswegian accent, possibly originating from Glasgow. Mr. Freddie takes a literal view to life, which occasionally ends up serendipitous – with some wise insights into the often frayed and complex relationship Gary and Jeff have with each other. Mr. Freddie is very popular with the ladies. Too popular, some say.
Mr. Ricketts:
Mr. Ricketts is the brutish landlord of Gary and Jeff, he ends most sentences with threats and is often wanting the rent three weeks in advance. He is gentler on Jeff, but abjectly abrasive towards Gary – who he views as an arrogant flibbergibber. Mr Ricketts displays all the incendiary attitudes that someone with more sanctimoniousness than dignity would display – often expressed with verbal beatings or insultingly written rent reminders.
Brent McDougall:
Brent McDougall works at Henriksen’s ‘Sell Anything’ Shop. People might often describe Brent as a typical bloke, an honest and cheerful person, of course people say lots of things when they’re drunk. He does not like being referred to as ‘Maccer’, however this does not stop Jeff from doing so.
The Estonian Vampyre:
The Estonian Vampyre is an excitable one. His fangs were stolen a long time ago and this has made him irritable and gruff. He despises television and misses the radioplays of old.
The Ghost of the Second Coming:
The Ghost of the Second Coming is a deranged ghoul and kleptomaniac. He’ll steal just about anything, however he is most partial to body parts, which he may trade little bits of candy for – a skill that has been proven successful on many an occasion.
Mephistopheles:
Mephistopheles is a sporadic demon keen to obtain delicious souls. He is often impetuous and lacks the refined skill of bargaining. Mephistopheles full name is Abaddon Lucifer Beelzebub Mephistopheles but he is frequently referred to as Mephistopheles to keep conversations short.
Hoover-Men:
The Hoover-Men are an alien species from the planet Unooooonjeporr. They are highly ambitious, with invasion plans for all of Earth. Unfortunately, realism isn’t their strong point, so a small part of Thornbury has to suffice. Visually, they resemble vacuum cleaners – but intellectually, they are more like easily-amused teenagers.
Pimlico:
Pimlico is a cantankerous, yet strangely erudite, wandering hobo. He is an excellent diagnostician of semantic diseases. He is very crafty and manipulative, having begrudged many a person of a cheese sandwich. Whilst more wizard-like than hobo, Pimlico still carries the main hobo-ish traits, such as a dental calamity, a weather-beaten coat, an old beanie and a tendency to steal electrical items of high value.
Dr. Knott:
Dr. Knott is quite possibly mad, a loose cannon and a danger to you and your hair. He has been known to do genetic experimentation on people without their consent. Dr. Knott has many experiments and machines, some of which are so complex that they’re unexplainable. Dr. Knott lives deep underground in his secret lair, with nothing more than the deceased Tetrapods in his shower and his lowly assistant Walt, for company.
Walt:
Walt is the research assistant and experiment of Dr. Knott. Walt is a very peculiar man with an Afro and little understanding of basic ideals. He holds an obsequious relationship with the mendacious Dr. Knott. When apart from his creator, Walt behaves like an unintelligent and slow man and often has trouble comprehending what is said, although sometimes he is like this even when with his creator.
Ulo von Oberon:
Ulo was Gary’s lecturer in accounting school. Ulo and Gary have a very good relationship, although he occasionally condescends Gary sardonically. Ulo has an annoying habit that involves the delicate manipulation of rubber bands – a characteristic that indicates his stress levels (most accountants are very stressed).
Nissan:
Nissan is shady, shifty, shonky and many other words begginning with ’sh’. A very well known figure in Thornbury’s underworld, he deals mostly in the exchange of humans. He can often be found doing business under a hedge in the grisly park, if you wait long enough. However, displease him and he’ll stuff you in his suitcase with all his other niknaks.
